Holidays!!!

Hey guys!

Merry xmas and a happy new year!!

I feel like I have so much to tell you!

First off hope you all had amazing christmases and that Santa brought you everything you want ;)

Just a little story for you-well you know how the ex is back on the scene trying to repair everything?? Well on christmas eve I get a knock on my bedroom window at about 1am. And it is him telling me he has a surprise for me. lol So i get a little angry, cos 1- he woke me up, and 2- we aren't dating so i don't want any surprises. Anyway he eventually convinces me to close my eyes and come outside.

So I get outside and my entire backyard is full of fairy lights and candles- EVERYWHERE. It honestly looked so magical and pretty. In the middle of the backyard he had put a pink rug with more candles surrounding it and a giant box. On top of the box was this long letter about how much he loves me and needs me in his life blah blah... The box had inside so much binge food lol- coconut mnm's, cookies and cream everything, lollies, coconut rough etc. ugh. A big Marilyn Monroe book, a Lady Gaga biography and a signed program from the Australian cast of Hairspray, including this personalised message from my idol who is in the show. So he did good. At the time I was angry- cos it's such a 'couply'/boyfriend/girlfriend thing to do.. but I'm getting over that and realising that it was a nice gesture.

Other news- I briefly tried 'recovering' for a few weeks but as usual that fails lol. And is especially hard during 'binge season' (festive season). ha

I am so excited because I am going to America this year- in June/july/august. I have never been and I am beside myself with pure excitement. My best friend has been studying in England for the past year so she decided to come back via America and I'm gonna meet her there!! Give me advice tell me what's amazing!!! :) Our big thing atm is that we are not to sure on where to spend the 4th of July. What's good?

Love you girls!

xx

Day Seven

So I got my period yesterday ughh, and i feel like i've bloated up so much! Lost 4 and a half kilos (9.9 pounds). I'm hoping that the slow weight loss is cos of that and not cos I've hit a plateau or anything! Do you girls struggle at that time of the month?

My lovely little brother told me I looked skinnier today :) <3>

I'm loving holidays right now, went to the beach last night, shopping today, sleep in's, sun baking, getting my hair done on saturday(i'll post a pic)!

HOLIDAY

babes.

on holidays now.

I cannot wait to get into posting all the time again!!

So bulimia has been epic these last few weeks- epic as in. Bingeing is out of this world out of control, vomiting every day, every meal, I look puffy and sick! ugh!

Anyway. I managed to convince my mum that detoxing for ten days (fasting) would help to rejuvenate my vocal chords haha. She actually believed me. So as of thursday i'm fasting for ten days. woot. Cannot wait.

This ties in well, cos I have a party I want to be tiny for- ex nd old school friends will be there. ugh

Hope you are all well!

OMG HARRY POTTER TOMORROW!!!!

FNWUF;BWUIFGBUWRLBGWILBGWRLBFGIRLBFWIALBWARLI

It's Dinner time.

What a waste of a day on my last week of holidays. Today I sat around on the net, or reading Wasted, or watching the Bachelor on tv. Very lazy day indeed.
I'm so surprised i have only had the one binge/purge sesh today- as soon as I woke up. I have been home alone for the whole day and somehow managed to control myself. It's 5.15pm here and dinner will be soon, but I'm not worried about that. I already know I will scoff down my meal and race to do the dishes (like a good daughter does-not because I want to but because they are more likely to let me race off to 'shower' straight after dinner).
It is there that I will turn on the water in the basin, turn on the water in the shower and turn on the fan (cos even the smallest amount of extra noise can muffle my gagging). It's always a race against time to vomit everything whilst the shower is still running, then to fit in a shower before my parents bang on the bathroom door that we are under water restrictions and that my 'shower' has been too long. I won't flush until I am out of the shower- what would they think if they hear the shower running and the toilet flush at the same time? It always shocks me when i stumble out of the shower, 'high' on purging, see my food glaring back at me from the toilet bowl. Flush Flush flush.

Intake so far:
45 calorie h/c

Yesterday was easily solved with the friends coming over. We ordered bbq chicken pizza. Purged but with slight difficulty- I was so excited to eat it I barely chewed, therefore found myself choking on whole pieces of chicken on the way up.

So as you can see, restricting never really agrees with me, I knew it wouldn't be long until I lapsed completely into purging every day again. On a plus note, i've lost at least a kilo in like a day and a half (3 pounds'ish??) So at least not back to my starting weight after my recent gains but hovering under 65.

Tomorrow i have decided to fast along with one of the girls whose blog I follow Jess-anyone on the earth.

Other than this i am feeling surprising good, not depressed or anything, in control and relatively calm. A little poor from my binges :P But satisfied.