I told him I will not get back with him for a long time. I need to see that he is serious about this and us... and I don't wan't to rush back into things. I mean we have been together or breaking up for five years... I think I need time to find my independence. I still love him like crazy and he is my best friend so that's hard. Anyway I told him this and he says he will wait for as long as it takes. eeeep.
He knows I'm kissing other boys too...awkward.. I had a massive drunken cry to him on saturday night about my eating issues and how much I hate myself blah blah. He was lovely, and looked after me the whole night. We fucked. ooops. Oh well, I mean we aren't a thing and it was cool so whatever hahah.
In terms of diet- back to all my fucked up ways- bingeing, purging, attempting to eat normally and not care until I freak out again. ugh.
I guess I'm functioning atm but...
Christmas is so soon ! Fuck fuck fuck!!
No idea what to get my parents or brother.. it's his 18th on christmas day so I need two lots of presents!!!!!!!!
x
I think going about whatever re-kindling relationship you might have slowly is a really good idea for you. Just like you've said here. You deserve your independence, and you deserve for someone to love you. And if he has yet to prove himself in your eyes, then don't waver. You've got every right to want to go about this with careful consideration. I think you've made a really good choice here.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to buy xmas pressies for family! And I think it should be made illegal to give birth within a month on either side of Christmas. Bad enough we have to get Christmas presents for everyone, never mind birthday gifts. >:(
ReplyDeleteDefinitely go back into the relationship slowly, to make sure it's really what you want. Do what feels right for you. <3
I fucked my ex after we broke up too, suprisingly it made things better haha, you haven't posted in a while, you ok?
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