Update and some pics

So the meeting with the ex went...okay. We said hi and that's it. Friends said he was staring at me the entire night...awkward lol. I stalked his facebook after (i de-friended him when we broke up lol) and he had written all these statuses being like "...is so so so stupid" and "hate that i miss you" etc... The only thing he said to me was when I was leaving, he came up to me told me I looked amazing and when I pretended i didn't hear he said I looked beautiful haha. Mission accomplished- get him kicking himself. He has since asked me for coffee and told me he misses me in his life- he hasn't said anything about getting back together but that's what it kinda sounds like. I won't take him back now. He has had too many chances.

In other news- had a terrible audition yesterday and proceeded to binge because i was so depressed :( fml. Will fast today and tomorrow.

Photos as promised!

This is what i wore on sat- kinda slutty, tight and showed alot of boobs but whatever

And yes I know I look fat still!!!!!!

My hair-

That was before- yes I know I am wearing a harry potter costume haha

and after- Not too blonde just some highlights.

xx

Day nine

ugh major period plateau! My weight has barely shifted in the last few days. All up I have lost 5 kg (11 pounds) now on the fast.
I should finish my period today/tomorrow so maybe magically I will drop a billion kilos haha.

Seeing the ex tomorrow. ughh I so don't want to... But I am hoping to come across to him as a strong amazon babe/unicorn who doesn't need him (even tho I'm a fucking nut case) hah.

A friend told me yesterday that there is supposedly some rule for how long you should let yourself 'get over someone'. You should allow as many months for the years you were together. So we were together for all up five years- so I should allow myself 5 months to be fully over it. I'm definitely nearly there, I don't get sad, or miss him anymore, I'm just a little bitter towards him. But hey, we were never going to be friends haha.

Hope you all have a good weekend! I believe it is Thanksgiving? Thank god we by pass that one down here!!

xx

Day Seven

So I got my period yesterday ughh, and i feel like i've bloated up so much! Lost 4 and a half kilos (9.9 pounds). I'm hoping that the slow weight loss is cos of that and not cos I've hit a plateau or anything! Do you girls struggle at that time of the month?

My lovely little brother told me I looked skinnier today :) <3>

I'm loving holidays right now, went to the beach last night, shopping today, sleep in's, sun baking, getting my hair done on saturday(i'll post a pic)!

Day Five

Just about to finish day 5 now!

Lost just over 3kg, I'm still huge ugh my bmi is still around 20, so there is no way I will start getting complacent and think about being easy on myself! I don't deserve to be 'treated'!! I have so much work to do! I want to be hard on myself, I think it's the only way I will end up getting what I want.

Went out with my 'hubby' (best gay friend) tonight to dinner- he got Pad Thai, I drank water. Oh god. Would absolutely love a noodle dish right about now...but resisting temptation.

I'm terrified that I will turn into a bingeing monster when the detox is over...MUST STAY STRONG AND FOCUSED.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx8GCOdyUUM

My friend sent me this link today- it's of cute, skinny,indie looking male models- so if that's your thing- CLICK!

Some of them are cute!! Some of them are too boyish and not man enough for me haha

Goodnight!!

xoxo

Day four

Just woke up to day four!

Lost 2 and a half kg! yayyyy!!

I can't really notice anything yet but :S.... Hoping to lose another 6 by Saturday!

Yesterday was so hard, went out for dinner with friends- they had huge plates of noodles and honey chicken and bread- was definitely having fantasies about bingeing/purging that! ha.

Staying strong however.

this week my plan is to lounge around and sunbake, maybe go to the beach! I love summer so much!!!!!!

I'm gonna dye my hair this week too, thinking putting some blonde in, lightening it up for summer!! eeeeeeeee!!

Life is going well I think!!! :)

xoxox

day two

I went to The Australian Ballet Center today, just for an acting workshop. The girls. These ballerinas. Took my breath away. Gorgeous, petite and elegant. I just watched them walking down the halls in their leotards and sitting in the cafeteria. Kinda creepy. But i couldn't look away haha.

Day two lemon detox-

I've lost 500 grams but I'm sure thats just water weight, I won't be getting excited till it's a couple of kilos. I'm feeling good, but then again I haven't done anything strenuous. No gym for a couple of days but until I've adjusted properly!

Harry Potter. have you seen it? What did you think? I don't want to give it away in case anyone hasn't seen it yet. But I loved it so much. Cried twice, laughed and shat myself out of sheer fear!!! Some parts were terrifying! I like a good fright but :P

Have a good weekend babes!xx

Unicorn.

LOL

my mum freaked out. She thought that by fasting I meant fasting of junk food (which I have been vomiting up behind her back anyway). But no mum, fasting means nothing, zero, no food passing through these lips.

Anyway she freaked out. We managed to compromise- I'm gonna do the lemon detox(master cleanse). HAHA. I did it last year and it went pretty well. Lost 8kg in 9 days. Wow. Hoping to do that again!

I actually am scared of weighing myself, I'm assuming i may even be near my highest weight. ugh. This binge and purge cycle has been epically out of control. And have not been to the gym in weeks, my only exercise has been a walk sporadically and dance classes 2-3 times a week. Not good considering i used to be going to the gym every day. Sick joke.

disgusting.

I need help to get back on track!

My friends and I call amazing skinny girls unicorns- these girls are mythical creatures, who seem to have magical powers (of not eating and being babes) lol.

Need to get to unicorn status again.

help me girlies?

Detox begins tomorrow. I will give you all updates.

xoxox

HOLIDAY

babes.

on holidays now.

I cannot wait to get into posting all the time again!!

So bulimia has been epic these last few weeks- epic as in. Bingeing is out of this world out of control, vomiting every day, every meal, I look puffy and sick! ugh!

Anyway. I managed to convince my mum that detoxing for ten days (fasting) would help to rejuvenate my vocal chords haha. She actually believed me. So as of thursday i'm fasting for ten days. woot. Cannot wait.

This ties in well, cos I have a party I want to be tiny for- ex nd old school friends will be there. ugh

Hope you are all well!

OMG HARRY POTTER TOMORROW!!!!

FNWUF;BWUIFGBUWRLBGWILBGWRLBFGIRLBFWIALBWARLI

I haven't died.

I'm just real effin busy.

Did one show last week- A midsummer night's dream. This week I'm doing my own Cabaret. Closing night tomorrow night. Can't wait actually exhausted.

Have just been restricting- vomiting ruins my voice, alas fucked up this arvo- home alone- what else- Which meant tonight's show wasn't as good as i could have been! ugh

anyways.

Nothing to report, currently lying in bed watching the recent ep of gossip girl. All I will say is Chuck and Blair............................ :O

hahah

Hope some of you understand this!

xx