Great News.

So I went to the toilet ha.

This morning. Great news right??? It wasn't that big, but fairly good size I think.

hahah stfu Ava?

Anyway I read on the internet about how vitamin c is really good for regular 'movements', so i simply took some before I went to bed and what do you know!? Went this morning! I figured I'd try it first before i have a small binge/up my cal intake. Mainly because (it's a bit OCD) But i know as soon as I up my intake it's very probable that i would freak out-think 'oh what the fuck' and binge and purge.

Speaking of Binges.

I am dying here. I have had so many cravings to just eat crap lately (this week- perhaps getting my rags (do any of you call it that, is or it an australian thing lol?))- mainly coconut rough and white chocolate raspberry bullets, and maybe some bread. I nearly fucked up today- got home from uni early home alone, and there was fresh bread, chocolate and icecream.

I JUST managed to resist, had a cup of green tea and locked myself in my room haha.

I don't know how much longer I can go on. My bulimic self is not used to so much restricting!!!! Considering a planned binge/purge tomorrow???????!?!!?!??! eeeeeeeep. I can see myself slipping up majorly!!!

Anyways tomorrow I'm working 9-5 (Did I ever mention that I work in a cafe on weekends?). I know wtf right. This means:

Coffee, hot chocolate, cheesecake, mudcake, moussecake, eclairs, vanilla slices, caramel slices, biscuits, rockey road.

Pretty much a binge eaters wet dream right here.

It is so easy for me to just grab something and eat on the job. MUST FUCKING RESIST.

Haven't managed to weigh myself yet either so not sure if the toilet stop helped. haha.

Thank-you for all your suggestions and well wishing for me to go to the toilet. HAHAHAH. I feel like I'm a two year old ahahahhaha.

What should I do about my binge urges?????

gross gross gross

So don't read if you have a weak stomach. haha.

So I just had some sugar free lollies (maybe 10-15). And I must have had a really extreme reaction or something, cos I am literally bloated to the extent of looking like i'm pregnant to full term, and spent at least an hour on the toilet. I usually have heaps of sugar free stuff and am fine. They had a MASSIVE laxative effect ughhhh. yuck. I hate talking about poop. lol. I honestly don't know how i was pooping for so long cos I haven't had much today...

B: three strawberries, handful of bran without milk.
L: 3 rice cakes
D: 1 sushi roll. lollies

*heaps of water and vitamins..
I know not very nutritious. At least I haven't purged. Get that- I haven't purged for THE WHOLE DAY.

Bad news is I didn't go to the gym today cos I've been at uni all day, but had some movement classes so that's ok i suppose.
What kind of music do we all like?