I haven't died.

I'm just real effin busy.

Did one show last week- A midsummer night's dream. This week I'm doing my own Cabaret. Closing night tomorrow night. Can't wait actually exhausted.

Have just been restricting- vomiting ruins my voice, alas fucked up this arvo- home alone- what else- Which meant tonight's show wasn't as good as i could have been! ugh

anyways.

Nothing to report, currently lying in bed watching the recent ep of gossip girl. All I will say is Chuck and Blair............................ :O

hahah

Hope some of you understand this!

xx

Great News.

So I went to the toilet ha.

This morning. Great news right??? It wasn't that big, but fairly good size I think.

hahah stfu Ava?

Anyway I read on the internet about how vitamin c is really good for regular 'movements', so i simply took some before I went to bed and what do you know!? Went this morning! I figured I'd try it first before i have a small binge/up my cal intake. Mainly because (it's a bit OCD) But i know as soon as I up my intake it's very probable that i would freak out-think 'oh what the fuck' and binge and purge.

Speaking of Binges.

I am dying here. I have had so many cravings to just eat crap lately (this week- perhaps getting my rags (do any of you call it that, is or it an australian thing lol?))- mainly coconut rough and white chocolate raspberry bullets, and maybe some bread. I nearly fucked up today- got home from uni early home alone, and there was fresh bread, chocolate and icecream.

I JUST managed to resist, had a cup of green tea and locked myself in my room haha.

I don't know how much longer I can go on. My bulimic self is not used to so much restricting!!!! Considering a planned binge/purge tomorrow???????!?!!?!??! eeeeeeeep. I can see myself slipping up majorly!!!

Anyways tomorrow I'm working 9-5 (Did I ever mention that I work in a cafe on weekends?). I know wtf right. This means:

Coffee, hot chocolate, cheesecake, mudcake, moussecake, eclairs, vanilla slices, caramel slices, biscuits, rockey road.

Pretty much a binge eaters wet dream right here.

It is so easy for me to just grab something and eat on the job. MUST FUCKING RESIST.

Haven't managed to weigh myself yet either so not sure if the toilet stop helped. haha.

Thank-you for all your suggestions and well wishing for me to go to the toilet. HAHAHAH. I feel like I'm a two year old ahahahhaha.

What should I do about my binge urges?????

Plateau. Again.

Majorly plateauing! WTF!

I have been the same weight since monday. It's thursday!! And I have been doing so well!!!! Exercising every day, drinking heaps of water, low calorie intake- but not the same every day and it won't budge!!! What am I doing wrong????

It may have something to do with the fact that I haven't been to the toilet in nearly a week (gross i know)!!!!!!!

Other then that NOTHING has been going on. Lame I know, just the usual uni, rehearsals etc etc.

The sun started coming through my window yesterday, which reminds me SUMMER is approaching, which excites me and scares me.... BIKINI'S!!!!!!!

My Window.

Jets bikini- love this brand. That and Seafolly. http://www.seafolly.com/australia - Jessica Hart models alot of Seafolly, she is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing.

So yeah, only news is that I am terrified i won't be at next goal weight on monday!!

What helps you lovelies get over a plateau? For me, if I've been restricting for ages...it is usually a small binge (gah!!!!!!!)

Love reading your blogs, it has become like my fave hobby now. Get home from uni, get my mac, lounge around and read about YOUR LIVES! weeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quickie (not the sexual variety...)

Such a long day at uni. Rehearsals went on forever, just getting home now (10.45 pm). Quick Post then I need to sleep.

Fasting tomorrow!!!

Rules for myself:

*No food.

*heaps of water.

*daily vitamins.

*any zero calorie soft drink.

Anyone who wants to join can, these are my rules for tomorrow! Feel free to do it however you like- water only/ some fruit/vegies/ etc etc- Whatever works for your body- we are all different remember! :)

Intake today: No vomiting wooooo- have not even had time/a chance to binge/ have a proper meal so that's why. Probs would have if I was at home alone and not at uni.

2 pepsi maxes

half a serving of vegie cous-cous- about 150-200

shit load of water

ok bed.

night girls. Remember to post how you go if you are fasting :)

x

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Pixiestix is back! Yayyyyy I have missed her blogging!! In answer to the question about singing: I have sung, acted all my life, I got an agent a few years back so I have gotten a fair bit of professional work now, which is great :)

I am going to fast this thursday! Who ever wants to join can!! I think i'll change the day i fast every week, just to keep it interesting. Feeling motivated by the public humiliation. Seriously you girls keep me in check haha. Whoever wants to do this can, we can start our own little routine ;)

Also reading a post on PrettyThin and was excited by this website: http://losertown.org/eats/cal.php
It tells you week by week what your weight would be depending on your exercise/calorie limit. Judging by this, If I continue to exercise 3-5 times a week and eat 800 cals, I'll be down to my tentative goal weight of 50kg(bmi 16) as opposed to current 21 (bleurgh) by November. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I thought 800 cals was more than reasonable, I wouldn't eat that every day but I guess it allows for any fuck ups.

I haven't vomited/binged all day. I've had about 400 calories, been to the gym and done 8 minute abs and buns.

Still no sign of the sex drought ending... haha. I have potentials (guys showing interest) but I'm being picky, they just don't get me excited below the belt lawl!!!!! Plus they are being too keen. And I hate that. I like some mystery.
I had a sex dream the other night about the guy in the Katy Perry- teenage dream film clip. hahah the closest i am getting to the peen atm is in my dreams.
This is him if you don't know what I am talking about:




But seriously girls, we can do this!!!! We can be what we all dream of being. And we are going to do it together.

LAME.

HAHA.
But seriously :P

xx