Hellooooooooooooo

blah been so fucking busy!!!! Pulling out my hair!! I've actually been so busy I have been forgetting to eat. I know. how does that happen??? To me of all people!!

Anyway I'm about 62 atm.

News:

*Met some beautiful boys in the weekend, they have been texting non stop!! fun fun fun!!

*the ex will be at the same 21st as me on november 27th- operation be a babe and make him jealous begins now

*the cat has a few names- Dobby, Toulouse, Bali. haha. Poor kitty having an identity crisis.

*going out for a massive house party tonight- miss house parties so much!!! Clubbing is fun but not the same haha

*grandfinal replay this weekend, more food fml.

*I graduate in like a month. wtf.

*I'm still vomiting.

miss you girls

xx

62.

So i am back to 62 yay. That didn't really take much to get back on track after my crazy 'normal' eating patterns!!!
This weekend is going to be pretty social, so i'm hoping food wont become the better of me!
Had my dance class yesterday...everyone was so thin and beautiful. I wish I had a toned terrific dancers body!!
Anyway, i think i work well when i have an event in sight that i want to be at a goal weight for- atm i have heaps of 21st's of childhood friends i haven't seen in ages...so that is pretty much my inspiration- i would like to be 60 or under by the first one coming up-may 22. So we shall see how that goes. I usually look forward to a day off as well (which i know is bad, but it's just how i get thru). So it will probably be when my cousin comes to stay on the 23rd of may. So like a week and a half of restriction then a day off. I'm usually having about 200-300 calories per day, eating alot of vegies and fruit. I'm definitely getting results.
Anyway... uni now!
xx

Surprising...

OK so yesterday, i screwed up a little, things started great in the morning- vitamins and the omlette, and then my mum decided to take me shopping. So the shopping center i go to is like one of the biggest in the southern hemisphere (or something similar) and you can imagine how much it takes out of you walking around for about 2 hours!! Anyways along came lunch time, and my mum was like "come on lets go grab some lunch", to which i panicked and started freaking out about how i could get out of this one. I tried the, :"errr, yeah not really hungry, I'll just grab something at home." Which she did not stand for. Anyways we found this nice little place that served up a vegetable broth so I just ordered that. That was the ok part. After shopping we went to visit my nan (keep in mind that i wagged all of yesterday ooops) at her place where she served up a coconut cake, and monte carlo biscuits. Gah well When i was on my way to my nans i swore I would not eat anything! Alas I'm a little liar. So i had a piece of the amazing cake, and two monte carlos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The cake was something like 300 cals.......and that is what i have been having daily!!!aghhhhfhwufnwupfnwu9pfuwapbnfwu9pgw9uhg.

Anyway, I dragged myself to the gym and pushed myself as hard as I could, also promising no dinner tonight. And of course I fucked that one up too. I had a thai beef salad- bf took me to dinner, cos our movie was later than expected so we had free time!! I sat though the whole movie, hating myself and having a mini meltdown in the dark.

Later that night, I spent alot of time on the toilet- gross I know, because for some miracle i must have gotten food poisoning or had some reaction to all that food in me. When I woke up this morning.. I was 62!! yayyyy. That is my next goal weight!!!!!!!
I immediately got so exciting i ran to the freezer and proceeded to eat a truck load of ice cream. Then i suddenly had the realisation... what the fu&^ am i doing???!?!?!?!?!?

Then I thought about it.... and a voice in my head was like...you could just throw it up. ugh.
So i ate until I was so full and then proceeded to purge until i was dry heaving. blahhh. What is wrong with meeeeeeeeeee?????
I promised myself I would try and not binge and purge as much as i used to. It just becomes so addictive.

Anyway it's been about five hours, I'm about to go to work, and I'm kinda scared to eat anything in case I start bingeing massively then need to purge...

Trying to remain calm.

So I know that I have reached my next goal weight.. But I think I will wait until I am safely under it, before I tick it off.

Stay strong.xx