Unicorn.

LOL

my mum freaked out. She thought that by fasting I meant fasting of junk food (which I have been vomiting up behind her back anyway). But no mum, fasting means nothing, zero, no food passing through these lips.

Anyway she freaked out. We managed to compromise- I'm gonna do the lemon detox(master cleanse). HAHA. I did it last year and it went pretty well. Lost 8kg in 9 days. Wow. Hoping to do that again!

I actually am scared of weighing myself, I'm assuming i may even be near my highest weight. ugh. This binge and purge cycle has been epically out of control. And have not been to the gym in weeks, my only exercise has been a walk sporadically and dance classes 2-3 times a week. Not good considering i used to be going to the gym every day. Sick joke.

disgusting.

I need help to get back on track!

My friends and I call amazing skinny girls unicorns- these girls are mythical creatures, who seem to have magical powers (of not eating and being babes) lol.

Need to get to unicorn status again.

help me girlies?

Detox begins tomorrow. I will give you all updates.

xoxox

12.22 am

I don't want to be bulimic anymore. Can I just not today? Can it just be a matter of simple choice, like wearing these pants instead of those. Can it be a "shot-gun not"? Can I play the part of the anorexic instead of the bulimic now? Oh please cast me please!?

I want to be full of emptiness.

I don't want to be full-empty-full-empty-full-empty-full-empty.full.fat.

I don't. The only way I will stop this is if I don't eat. or die. The second sometimes seems easier.

I think about it. I wouldn't though.

What am I talking about here. Excuse me but my electrolytes are out of whack.

Maybe I'll be back in action tomorrow.

Agh tomorrow. a new day. also monday. Monday equals weigh in. Public humiliation.

Bring it on.

I need a beating.

I wonder If I would stop purging if I chopped my purge fingers off. Nah. I'd probably shove something else down there.

Upside:I had an amazing weekend. I kissed a boy. A life gaurd. That's so australian maaaaaaaate.

I'm fucked.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ugh ugh ugh ughhhhhhhhh I do not deserve any good fortune. not after the way i have fattened up in the last four days. I have eaten like a 'normal' person. Three meals, snacks, deserts. ugh. What happened to me. How did I let this happen. I am terrified to weigh myself, i feel so so bloated and can feel the extra food heaps around my stomach. I have an important party in 5 sleeps... do u reckon i can fast for four days??? I need to get myself back in that mind set i dunno what happened to me.
Will I ever succeed.
It is looking unlikely.
Ugh.
PLease inspire meeeeeeeeeeeeee