whinge whinge whinge sook sook sook.

I went to bed last night, telling myself I would not purge in today, that I would eat healthily and keep it down.
Just had a huge fight with my boyfriend. We were supposed to see each other tonight, to talk things over. He organised plans with a friend instead, wasn't even going to tell me. I get the feeling he is just waiting for me to end it, I don't think he has the courage to. I'm scared. I'm so upset. I'm shaking. I've purged everything. I can't even cry. How do you end a four year relationship so quickly? I am honestly not the type to depend on boyfriends or anyone. I would rather suffer alone. But this guy is my best friend. How did it get so fucked up. He keeps hurting me but I just hanging on to him. I feel so pathetic.

I logged on here and promised I would try to avoid being over dramatic and depressed- surprisingly this is a toned down post. lol.

Darling Alice nominated me for A Blogger Addict Award, which honestly was so sweet of her <3, improved my mood too. I feel like I hardly deserve it, my posts are so disinteresting and I haven't been blogging for long. But I will accept it just the same! :)


i love
Marilyn Monroe. supermodels.ice cream.fake tan and bronzer.the 20's.perez hilton.amy adams.jazz singing.opp/vintage shopping. merryl streep.pringles.slurpies.green tea.film.film noir.day dreaming.animals.class and glamour.drunken moments.collecting underwear.disney.singalongs.Ellen degeneres.michael buble. chivalry. family. the name ava( it's not actually my name ps)dancing.cate blanchet.lollies.kisses.idina menzel.drunken singstar.the moment when i am on stage.personal jokes that everyone wants to be included in.realife movie moments.random photo sessions and photo whorage.reading. my cat.realising you love something.horror movies.weheartit.com. generosity.you girlies :)

i loath
cold days.cleaning my room.people who bag harry potter.rejection.failing.having nothing to do.fat days.being snowman pale.days when i don't go to the gym.neglect or cruelty to animals.swimwear shopping.'twihards'.upsetting people- terrified of being the cause of someones pain.my phone cap.people touching my feet.judgemental people.licorice.being so shy.people thinking i'm a bitch when i'm shy.voldermort.when the hosts of the view repeatedly talk over each other.no more harry potter.stephenie meyer having to have a cameo in twilight.rainy days.not 'making it' yet.being hung up on.

ps-very aware that i went overboard with the likes and dislikes lol
My nominations:
http://crumpetcancer.blogspot.com - Eva
http://thisisthecollapserightnow.blogspot.com - Sarah
http://escapevelocity-almost.blogspot.com/ - Jess
http://emryelle.blogspot.com/?zx=ecbc44638a82d9a9 - Emry
http://myoneheadlight.blogspot.com/?zx=164ff7d4caffd3f8 - pixiestix_014

Stay strong everyone!!! Sorry about the sook!! I'm gonna go watch a comedy or something now :P
xxxx