62.8

This morning I weighed 62.8kg (bmi: 20).

Which is a hell of a surprise since I also got my period this morning. GAH.

A lovely surprise it was. Hmmmm.

Anyways Just thought I'd let you all know :) Hopefully I won't gain this week because of it!!

oh.

And.

NO BINGEING YESTERDAY! Well I had about 900 calories, but I didn't end up gaining which was great- I lost a bit yay!

Anyways off to the gym now, to work this freakin' period pain away!!!

HAHA. Lol.

Soooo....

I didn't binge yay! Got through the whole shift without fucking up. I used all your tips too lovelies so thank-you! I let myself have 80 cals worth of dark chocolate ( I figure it is slightly better then a big fuck off chocolate bar), so it brought my daily total to 520!

Weighed myself this morning (it's sunday- offish weigh in is tomorrow) And I am 63. YAY (138pounds, bmi: 20.1)

I doubt I'll lose much if any by tomorrow but oh well. Slow and Steady wins the race bitches!

Although it's not a lot I've lost .6 of a kilo since tuesday. (1.3 pounds) And I know I should be 62.2 kg tomorrow, but after my little not going to the toilet fiasco during the week I think I can forgive that haha. And i don't think my little schedule took into account bowel blockages lol.

I still have to get through today however and I am working this afternoon. I think it will be easier for me to resist temptation today, since I am not hungover, Sundays are usually "I want to crawl into a hole and die cos I'm so hungover" days. haha.

Sundays are also where my mother likes to pretend she is a right Martha Stewart and cook cakes and slices etc for 'the children's lunches'. FYI my brother is 17 and I am 20. Lol. Must resist this also.

I had a quiet night in last night, watched some of season one true blood, and had some laughs getting drunken texts from my friends. I'm saving my pennies (and liver) for next weekend- 3 21st birthdays in the one weekend, gah!!!!

This year has been the most expensive of my life.

Presents for all my friends turning 21!!!! Free bar tabs are fun but ;) :P

Hope your weekends are going splendidly!!

Love you all!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Not Much to report...

Except that I have not binge/purged this whole week. wtf. what has gotten into me?? Who knows. Not food that's for sure. ha lol.

Me this week (hopefully) ha.

Anywho I've been eating around 300 calories each day. Been feeling fine. Not faint or anything. Which is new for me. Anywho I haven't been exercising, which is possibly why I haven't lost as much weight as I thought I would. I think I'm getting my period too, so could possibly screw up mondays weigh in.

My cat Shadow is really sick. His kidneys are failing. I dunno how u girls feel about your pets, but I've had shadow for over 14 years now and he is honestly part of the family. So yeah. tad sad :(

I've been kind of shit on commenting lately so hopefully I can catch up on you babes tomorrow. It's 1.20 am. Tired.

Stay Strong.

Quickie (not the sexual variety...)

Such a long day at uni. Rehearsals went on forever, just getting home now (10.45 pm). Quick Post then I need to sleep.

Fasting tomorrow!!!

Rules for myself:

*No food.

*heaps of water.

*daily vitamins.

*any zero calorie soft drink.

Anyone who wants to join can, these are my rules for tomorrow! Feel free to do it however you like- water only/ some fruit/vegies/ etc etc- Whatever works for your body- we are all different remember! :)

Intake today: No vomiting wooooo- have not even had time/a chance to binge/ have a proper meal so that's why. Probs would have if I was at home alone and not at uni.

2 pepsi maxes

half a serving of vegie cous-cous- about 150-200

shit load of water

ok bed.

night girls. Remember to post how you go if you are fasting :)

x

NEED.

fat weekend.
Not much to report other then I ate like a 'normal person'+ purges. Which automatically makes me hate life. lol.

I've been thinking lately that I really need to evaluate what I'm doing in my life. I finish my degree this year. I really need to take advice of my agent and put myself out there. I need to stop spending money on binges and spend money on my future and marketing myself better. Which means;
*new clothes frequently
*hair coloured frequently
*teeth fixed (they are straight just my two front teeth are a tad longer then the others- plus they aren't pearly whites because of the purging.
*new headshots/show reel/studio time

Mia makes me so weak and lazy, I wish I could starve starve starve. Which is a terribly thing to wish I know. So many of you girls are struggling and here I am wishing this. Ugh.

I get angry with myself- I have these mini realisations all the time, and my motivation lasts for a while, then comes and goes in bursts. Don't get me wrong my motivation to perform is always there, it's just my crazy fucked up thoughts that get in the way.
I need to stop being so fucking lazy. I have all these people who believe in me, sometimes I feel like I am throwing it all away, I just get so overwhelmed in my eating/emotions and being a drama queen. I need a change. My teacher is helping me get into acting/music schools/agencies in London. I need to get out of my little bubble.

I need to make realistic goals. I aim to lose 5 kg by the start of October. Which is completely realistic- pretty much an amount anyone could lose healthily. 5 kg at least by then. I wont be doing it the 'standard' way. I'm not talking about recovery here. I'm talking about *fingers crossed* stopping binges, not purging multiple times a day, restricting and exercising more.
Exercise will be gym 5 days a week still in combo with daily 8 minute abs and buns. And of course my standard movement/dance/flex classes.



I think I will try giving you girls weekly weigh ins, hopefully this 'public humiliation' will motivate me to not fail. Lol. Starting the following week. You all have permission to shame me if I fail hideously.

I think I'll fast one day a week also. If anyone ever wants to join, let me know and we can blog/chat about it together.

Ugh AND just as I thought I was getting over everything The Script release this new song which pretty much could be called Ava-Rose's recent break up.

PS- I need a shag. haha.

A Miracle?

No kidding you I have lost two kilos in two days.. I don't even know how this happened, i guess the fact that I didn't binge is good. So this is what I ate yesterday:
B: 2 egg whites with a bit of pepper and sauce and a tomato
L: 2 rice thins
D: Satay Chicken wrap (ashamed to say partially purged)

*And heaps of water throughout the day
*Went to the gym both days and half hour walk (so nothing too strenuous)

Perhaps the fact that i am actually absorbing food lol and not throwing up everything? And that I am spacing it out to get my metabolism running?

My timetable at uni is starting to get busier which means I'll be with the same group of people for the whole day. Which in turn means friends will be watching me like hawks lol.

I texted the ex (i nearly said bf then..habit :( ) He still has so much stuff of mine, clothes shoes- shit I want back.

I have a box of our cards and movie tickets and all that shit that I will probably burn in the fire. LOL