fuckmyballs

was going sooo well until...

I've been feeling sick again so i figured an early night would be wise- tonight my plan was this: gym, ab/butt work, bed with electric blanket, september issue and coco avant chanel on my lap top (in bed) and 45 calorie hot choc + 5 fat free marshmallows. Well-5 turned into the whole packet.

Thought fuck this, went and ate 6 biscuits washed down with a glass of milk.

Just purged everything. ughhhhhhhhh. I was doing so well, hadn't vomited in a while either. At least it wasn't a huge huge binge I suppose (for those thinking that's a pretty huge fucking binge..think again. I have known myself to have 6 pieces of toast, half a tub of ice cream, chocolate, lollies- anything you can think of in just one sitting). Anyways before that I had had 300 calories.

Oh god.

So I live at home right- which has it's positives and negatives- + save money. - not as much freedom.

Mother pays for my medical bills etc. She says to me today, oh I am booking you in to the dentist in a couple of weeks. fuck fuck fuck fuck noooooooooo.

Bulimic's worst nightmare... I haven't been to the dentist for a couple of years (shocking i know)- he never said anything then, but since then I have been gradually worse and worse with the rate in which I vomit. Ughh. Really concerned about splash patterns. Do not want to explain this again to my parents. Does anyone know about splash patterns and bulimia? How long they take to become apparent?

Regards to the ex- I texted back pretty bluntly along the lines of: "no. I have no photos. I'll be sure to remember your well wishes in three months time when my shows are actually on."

bitchy, but I could have been MUCH worse. 'tevs. He texted back and said "Thanks, wasn't sure just wanted to check. I'm really happy to be back home, had a great time in NZ but.xx"

ummm.

1: I never asked you about your trip/how it went etc etc.

2:Do not care.blah blah blah blah blah

3: "xx"...reallllllllyyyyyyy?

NOT REPLYING TO HIS MSG. I actually don't feel the need to. Plus I have enough clarity now that I know it is not good for me to do so.

Oh god. So Today one of my bi friends offered to have sex with me. Lol. I wouldn't just because I am not attracted to him in the slightest. But I just thought it was funny, offering himself- I must clearly look like i need some action. I asked him how he would get me into bed... his response was something like this: "I'd take you out, buy you lots of drinks. We would sneak off to the bathroom and do everything but sex, and when you are really wanting it I'll go call us a cab. We get in the cab have a nice chat and then i tell the driver to pull over and we have a go at it on the freeway."

lol nope. no thanks, he said that's how he gets the guys...

hahaha we had a good laugh about it. i.e- a nice chat in the cab?? lol, sex on the side of the freeway??

He got the drinks part right tho- I turn into a horny minx as soon as I 've had a few drinks.

But since we are on the topic, would you have sex with a guy who had been with guys before/who is bi? I haven't...not sureeeeeee if I would. But definitely no judging if you have/would.

Anyways off to finish watching The September Issue.

oh, and I live nearish chadstone! Toorak is beautiful!!

lol how all my posts have been sex related. Hope noone is offended :P

x