So I had such a good night. The hotel was so nice- amazing views of the city, modern furnishings, comfy beds. We got trashed before we went out on cheap champagne, cocktails and downed shots whilst we danced around getting ready. Didn't end up gambling just went out to some bars at the casino, then to a club for the after party!
So this is me pre wasted:
And during wasted:
lol so clearly a bit of a difference. As you can see, I'm still abit para about showing my face on here. I wish I wasn't, I want so much just to share everything with you girls. But maybe one day.
Anyways, I had a huge convo with one of my friends- recovering/functioning anorexic. It's funny comparing the way in which we deal with food- she is a strict restricter and I obviously binge/purge// eat/purge. Yesterday she ate like two snowpeas, two cans of sugar free energy drink and all that alcohol. So strong. Don't know how she does it. I guess the bulimic mentality is very different to the anorexic mentality but.
My intake today has been actually preposterous. lol. Not even the fact that I went for a walk/ did 8 minute abs/buns will help me. gahhhh.
I don't think I will ever be able to continually lose weight for a long time in the state I am in. And you can see by the pics that I aren't anywhere near 'small'. It only ever comes off when I learn how to control my purging. fuck fuck fuck. My life is summarised by the notion of "oh fuck it." I'll stuff, vomit, stuff vomit, restrict, stuff stuff stuff, vomit.
Any girls out there managed to successfully lessen the amount of times they purge?? Howwwwwwwwwww you magical creatures??????
So I didn't really mean for this to turn into a big complaining fest but oh well!!!
TOMORROW WIL BE BETTER.
sounds and looks like you had an amazng time! wow you look sothin in the photos! freaking inspiring <3
ReplyDeletei think you are just being a little hard on yourself, you are actually doing marvellously in my opinion :)
xoxo
i think you look good in your pics gorgeous hair and outfit!
ReplyDeletestay strong lovely, tomorrow is a new day x
Glad you had a fun night :) Judging by your wasted picture it looks freaken awesome ;)
ReplyDeleteHope you do do well tomorrow
xX
Haha, sounds like you had a wonderful night. Your dress is adorable. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm still jealous that you got to go party at the casino. I must do this. I just never go out. So great that you had a blast :)
ReplyDeleteI agree that you're doing much better than you think you are, keep it up, be strong.
That bit about lessening the amount of purging...I could probably write a whole blog (or several) on the purge-phase I had at one point.
You're right, tomorrow will be better :) I'm looking forward to my tomorrow too.
<3
I think you look gorgeous in your pics. you're doing pretty damn well, I'd say! I love your blog, btw.
ReplyDelete<3